We all want our kids to be successful. That's why we spend so much of time (and often money) on activities that provide our kids with a well-rounded set of experiences. Whether it's a formal lesson or informal play at home, activities like sports, art and music help children and youth to advance their motor skills. They also provide opportunity to develop "soft" skills like teamwork and creative thinking, which studies show can improve performance when it comes to math and reading. In fact, researchers have identified key "soft" skills that affect both academic and life-long success. One of the most important is empathy, or the ability to identify with other people's feelings or experiences.
Children and youth who have empathy skills are more likely to be engaged in their academic work and have higher achievement. They tend to experience bullying less frequently and are better at resolving conflict. In short, empathy enhances social skills which gives kids an edge in other areas of life. Empathy is a pathway to success for adults too, boosting productivity, improving customer engagement, and increasing innovation. For that reason, teaching empathy in the workplace has become standard for a lot of businesses across a variety of industries.
Right now, teaching empathy at home and at school may be more important than ever before. That's because communicating through technology removes many social cues and changes the way we connect. Without those social cues – eye contact, tone, and body language – we have fewer points of contact that trigger empathy, so our communication often lacks compassion. We are also more likely to experience feelings of being misunderstood and alone, which can lead to poor mental health.
Of course, technology is here to stay for better and for worse. In SECPSD we know that social and emotional learning is an important part of preparing kids to be successful adults in a digital world. Students learn and practice skills, including empathy through school-based activities and interactions with peers, teachers, and staff both online and off.
As the people with the most influence over your child, parents and caregivers can create opportunities for social and emotional learning at home too. Here are just a few ways to boost your child's empathy skill set:
Teach them to be good digital citizens: The best way to do this is to talk about digital citizenship from a young age. Carefully monitor their online activity and access to social media. Speak to them about all aspects of their online activity, including online safety and the potential risks of using streaming platforms and social media. For older kids and teens, discuss how things like tone and intent can be misunderstood online, and strategies to avoid these problems.
Children and youth will benefit from clear boundaries around technology, including how to use empathy online. This Digital Citizenship Guide has great ideas for getting started. Our SECPSD Social Dilemma Family Challenge has tools you can use as well, like a social media tracker and technology agreements for the whole family.
Model effective communication: Empathy and communication go hand in hand. When kids have communication skills, they also have healthier relationships and can deal with conflict better. Since we learn to communicate through interactions with others, the most effective thing caregivers can do is to model healthy communication and active listening techniques. The more kids practice their communication skills at home, the better equipped they'll be to communicate effectively throughout their lives.
Boost their EQ: Emotional intelligence is your ability to understand, recognize and manage emotions. It's important because the more skills for EQ we have, the better our ability to regulate, problem solve and deal with complex situations. EQ helps us use our concrete skills like math and language in new and innovative ways. So even though our IQ doesn't really change through the course of our lives, EQ maximizes what we've got, making us mentally stronger and faster so we can solve problems better.
Parents can give their kids a leg up in the EQ department by labeling your own emotions, modeling appropriate emotional responses, and helping kids to identify and label their feelings too. Reflective conversations, like the 180 activity are a great way to engage EQ and empathy because they help your child to identify their own feelings and other people's feelings too, setting the stage for them to use empathy as a tool for problem solving.